The old adage "boys will be boys" was never more true than with the boys of Georgia Military Academy over the years. In their efforts to beat the system, to play pranks on their teachers, the administration, and fellow students, to retaliate for the harassment of local boys, or just to have their moments of fun, G.M.A. cadets recorded stunts of enormous proportions (many, regrettably detrimental and destructive to the entire school). Some were tricks of good, clean fun which brought laughter to the school officials as well as to the student body. And, too, there were embarrassing events, planned or otherwise, which alumni recall today with laughter.

Live animals were not permitted in cadet rooms; however, many former cadets remember receiving demerits and bullring time for having animals in the dorms. Tales range from one student who had several baby chicks in a box under his bed to dorm mascots which included dogs, cats, rats, coons, skunks, and alligators.

One cadet, returning from spring leave, brought back several king snakes which he sold to other cadets, who then had to capture mice to feed their snakes.

In the later years of the school, it is reported that the old dorms became infested with wharf rats of tremendous size. One morning a sleepy-eyed cadet arose from his bed and proceeded to slip his right foot into his shoe. In doing so, he felt a soft warm object in his shoe and realized to his horror that the object in the shoe made a squeaking sound. At that moment, with a string of profanity which could be heard throughout the dorm, the boy kicked the shoe from his foot, hurling the shoe and the huge rat into the hallway. Cadets rushed from their rooms and saw a shoe, sole-side up, being carried down the hallway by the rat just like a turtle would carry its shell.

Much confusion ensued and the cadets chased down the moving shoe and captured the enormous rodent. Biology class called it the largest rat they had ever seen in Old Rugby Hall.

One animal story goes back to the early nineteen twenties when the area behind Memorial Hall was vacant of houses except for a large barn located somewhere beyond the present Lower School. Cadets loved to climb up into the hay-lof of the barn; and alone, except for some mules and cows below, they would proceed to smoke rabbit tobacco. One day during one of these smoking sprees, a cadet fell from the loft, landing on top of a cow which had died. The local farmer, arriving at that moment, accused the cadet of killing his cow. That cadet later became a famous lawyer, a prominent Republican Party leader.

Bob Beaty '50, a man bigger-than-life and a person who relishes the humorous, laughs today about an encounter with Colonel Burnett, Commandant of Cadets, in the late forties. The old colonel, who had heard of an animal in Bob's room, came to Bob saying, "Tell me, Cadet Beaty, that you do not have a live alligator in your locker." Cadet Beaty seized the opportunity and said to the Colonel, "There is no alligator in my locker." Colonel Burnett then proceeded to look into Bob's locker and found a small alligator in a shoe box. The Colonel said, "Cadet Beaty, why did you tell me that you did not have an alligator in your locker when it is plain to see that this is an alligator?" Bob, in his typical fashion responded, "Well, Colonel, you told me to tell you that I did not have an alligator in my locker."

Many pranks pulled by cadets over the years attest to their ingenuity and ability to do what many alumni today say was impossible.

One such feat occurred one fall when the Cadet Corps at their muster in front of Old Founder's Hall discovered that an automobile tire had been placed over the tall flag pole. It took the College Park fire department and their hook and ladder equipment to remove the tire.

During the renovation of one of the dorms, the guts of the dorm, including bathroom fixtures were piled up next to the dorm, near the bullring area. The cadets at their morning muster and assembly laughed to see ten toilet bowls on top of Founder's Hall.

Other such incidents include a Volkswagen placed on top of West Hall, an automobile, somehow, placed inside the courtyard of Brewster Hall, and, more astonishing, a car put inside the lower basement area of Memorial Hall. Some of the pranks were destructive, and many cadets look back with regret on those incidents. It is likely that the alumni recalling these events were not involved, but they spoke what they considered to be the feelings of the vast majority of unbelieving students.

The school became a show place for the beautiful tulips planted and cultivated by Mrs. W.R. Brewster, Jr. The tulips filled the walkways of the school and several other areas around the campus. One morning, to the dismay of the student body, the front stoop of the President's home was filled with red and white tulip blossoms. The head of every tulip on campus had been snipped off.

In the early nineteen sixties, a magnificent magnolia tree was proudly displayed in the courtyard in front of the new Brewster Hall. One year an event occurred which put a damper on the cadets' spirits. On graduation day, as the students proceeded to their first class, they saw to their surprise and dismay that the 30 foot tree had been cut down with its large branches leaning against the second floor walkway of Brewster Hall.

An even more destructive prank was pulled in the early 1980's when, during the night, a brick and mortar wall was constructed on the second floor of Brewster Hall blocking the entrance to the library.

Perhaps the most destructive act, and by far the most alarming to students, was the mutilation of the student lounge in the early '80's. A group of students, mostly seniors, entered the student lounge in Colquitt Hall. It was their intention to "roll" the lounge and to spray paint the walls. With a large number of students participating in the prank, things got out-of-hand, and most of the equipment and furnishings in the lounge were destroyed. This prank caused the dismissal of thirteen seniors a month before graduation.

The library has often been the target of mischieveous deeds. One favorite prank was to release live crickets in the library and watch the mayhem that ensued. Some years ago, the week before graduation, every senior in the school checked out as many books as were allowed; then at the end of one school day they all returned the books to the library at the same time causing an enormous pile-up of books and extra work for the librarian.

Cadets, over the years, did many crazy things. Today, alumni look back with amazement and wonder at some of these crazy occurrences.

It seems that several years ago, when students were required to have combination locks, a young cadet lay on his dorm bed in the nude enjoying the freedom of a hot summer evening. He began playing with his combination lock and, for some unknown reason, got it locked around his testicles. He could not remove the lock, and in the meantime, he began to swell. Knowing a master list of all combinations was kept in the Commandant's Office, he summoned the Floor Commander. The Commandant's office was closed, and the Floor Commander sent for Colonel Burnett.

Colonel Burnett walked into the cadet's room with a hacksaw; the boy, seeing what Colonel Burnett had in mind, fainted. Luckily for the boy, the master list was found, and the cadet was freed of his predicament.

During the 1950's, when Founder's Hall was the main academic building, there was a certain elderly female English teacher who bore the brunt of many jibes and pranks from students. During a test one day, a cadet jumped up from his desk in his second floor classroom and said he was going to "end it all." He then proceeded to jump from the second floor window, sending the teacher into hysterics. A few seconds later, when the boy reappeared outside the window and said "Boo", the teacher fainted. Unbeknownst to the teacher, the boy had landed on a ledge three feet below the window.

There is an unbelievable story of a very obese cadet who reportedly could break wind at will. He became famous for his "poot-poots" during drills and parades. Even more astonishing was the air pollution that occurred. Many cadets say that it seemed as if ten thousand of Satan's skunks had been released and angered. He was a useful and valuable tool in covering up the odors of smoking and cooking which were prohibited in the dorms.

In the sixties and seventies, rolling the campus with toilet paper became a fad. Early one Sunday morning, President Brewster's house was rolled. The house, trees, lawn, and even the cars were covered with toilet paper and, to make matters worse, it rained. Discovering the deed before daybreak, Captain and Mrs. Brewster immedicately began cleaning up the mess. By the time the cadets began arriving on campus for the Sunday Parade, no signs of the rolling remained. Both day and boarding students who had been a part of the undertaking looked in amazement at the Brewsters' sparkling clean home and yard. The incident was never mentioned.

On many occasions, because of some disturbance, and entire floor of cadets would be mustered, restricted, and even forced to march in formation in the middle of the night. Some cadets delighted in creating problems for cadets on another dorm floor. Many times, cadets on the third floor of the Old Gym would pay for some occurrence which had been planned and executed by cadets on the first floor.

One such event involved a large, empty metal trash can. The first floor students would, in the middle of the night, creep up the to the third floor, place a trash can on the precarious edge of the top step. Under the can they would place a small block of wood attached to a long cord which they would fed from the can down the three flights of stairs to the first floor. Just a simple pull would bring the can tumbling down the stairs and the landings not stopping until it reach the first floor. The noise the can would create as it bounced from step to step was unbelievable. Of course the disturbance would bring every cadet on all three floors to the hallways. By the time the dorm teachers would reach the first floor, the cord and the block of wood which when pulled preceeded the tumbling can had been concealed. There, on the first floor landing would be the evidence, a large medal trash can clearly marked 3rd floor, Old Gym.

Of course, events of this sort eventually brought about some type of retaliation from other students ranging from fire extinguisher flights, water fights, removing furniture from cadet's rooms, short sheeting beds to out-and-out physical contact.

At the base of the World War I Monument are cannon balls painted black. In 1965, someone painted the cannon balls white. An assembly was called and all boarders were restricted to the campus. However, a half hour later a cadet came forward and admitted to Captain Brewster that he had painted the cannon balls. The restriction was lifted, and the cadet's only punishment was to re-paint the cannon balls black.

One day Colonel Brewster discovered a bottle of gin in one of the rest room commodes. Wanting to know who was drinking, Colonel Brewster put something in the bottle that would make anyone drinking from it deathly ill. He then returned the bottle to its hiding place. Next day, when one of the janitors became nauseous and quite ill, Colonel Brewster had his culprit. He was relieved to know it was not one of his cadets.

Drinking strong spirits on campus, which was forbidden, became a challenge to some cadets over the years. They would find the most unusual places to hide their contraband. Flower vases, medicine and hot water bottles, inside wall paneling, commode tanks, and outside shrubbery were a few of their favorite hiding places.

President Kennedy's inaugural parade was the last time that G.M.A. cadets participated in an inauguration. Many of the cadets involved have vivid memories of the event. The weather was extremely cold that January morning for the parade. The band and marching cadet corps elected to forgo wearing their overcoats in order to appear more impressive in their dress uniforms. The corps completed the parade in fine fashion, but the weather was so cold that drum major Mickey Johnson's '61 whistle was frozen to his lips.

Upon their arrival at Union Station for the parade, one cadet placed his baggage on the escalator. When the escalator reached the top of its incline, the luggage blocked people from exiting, resulting in mass confusion until the baggage was removed.

On another trip to Washington D.C., cadets were traveling on a special train which permitted the students to go out on the towns with the provision that they would be back by midnight. On one occasion, some cadets had not returned by midnight as ordered. Captain Brewster received a call from the police stating that four cadets had been arrested with two sailors and two girls. It seems that one of the cadets had shoved one of the sailors through a plate glass window.

Encounters with local boys and other high school students over the years have created many vivid pictures of the harassment and retaliation of G.M.A. cadets.

For as long as alumni can remember, the locals had harassed G.M.A. cadets in one way or another, presumably out of jealousy. One particular form of harrassment was to call the cadets "gorilla", "monkey" or "ape." "Bellhop" was another common term. Also, local students would drive by Rugby Hall shouting names that did not set well with the cadets. On many occasions, as cars would pass by Rugby Hall, the cadets, especially those on the second floor, would be prepared. As the cars passed by, the cadets would hurl any object available from the second floor onto the cars below. The objects ranged from rotten vegetables to ink bottles.

One evening, all of the Rugby Hall students were prepared with catsup bottles. As the cars came by, down went the catsup. One student driver was struck with a bottle, causing the car to be wrecked and the red blood-like liquid to be splattered all over the driver and car. People who came to the scene saw the catsup all over the boy and thought he had been killed.

Alumni recall today the love and respect they had for their teachers; yet, they also remember the pranks they would pull just for fun.

Later in life, Colonel J.R. Burnett, Colonel M.P. Young, and Miss Mattie P. Andrews became hard of hearing. Because of their hearing difficulties, they were the victims of many pranks. For example, Colonel Young before he retired, would assist Mrs. Virginia Steele in the library. Knowing there was a strict rule against any talking in the library, the students would move their mouths without making a sound. A very upset Colonel Young would come over and reprimand the cadets for making a disturbance.

Miss Andrews, a sweet and lovely lady who taught English and foreign languages, was also the librarian for many years. During this time, it was the custom for a faculty member to be assigned to a dining room table with ten boys. When the meal was over, the cadets were supposed to stand and say to the teacher at their table "Thank you, Mr. or Mrs. Whoever, we enjoyed our dinner." The cadets at Miss Andrews' table would stand and politely say, in a soft voice, "Miss Andrews, kiss our 'foot'." Miss Andrews would look up at the boys, smile, and say, "Thank you, gentlemen."

Because of Colonel Burnett's hearing problems, the students were able to talk off demerits.

The incidents of the past, some unprintable, are many. They range from stories of girls in cadets' rooms to meeting girls in the College Park Cemetery, to fire extinguisher fights. There were also stories of cadets placing flowers and apples on every teachers' desk at times. One story tells of a famous present-day general who, when he was a cadet and wanted an appointment to West Point, rolled his feet over a bottle every day to overcome his flat feet. He got the appointment. There are happenings that would help to make the great American novel.

Excerpt from “The Woodward Story”, by Robert Ballentine, published 1990 by Jostens Printing and Publishing; content used with permission of the copyright holder, Woodward Academy Inc., College Park, Georgia, USA.